My True Prison Love Story

My true story has been published in an ebook. It was written by Renee Patterson, who did a wonderful job of telling my story exactly how I wanted it told. It you're interested in reading my true life prion love story, you can download the ebook "Another Sappy Love Story - Full Circle Prison Love" for the full story for Amazon Kindle or Barnes and Noble Nook. The shorter version, "Another Sappy Love Story - The Beginning" is free on Amazon for the rest of this weekend. Download it now and tell me what you think.

My Life is NOT Depressing

I finally saw my boo yesterday. It had been almost two months. I had some medical problems that had me on crutches. But, the crutches were by choice, not subscribed by a doctor. Because of that, I was unable to take the crutches into the prison. So, I had to wait until I was better to visit.

I guess that's why, for the first time, I cried when it was time to leave. I didn't even cry the first time I visited. But, this time was different. I missed him so much. I had never gone over three weeks without visiting him. It had been two whole months.

After our ritualistic game of scrabble, (I beat, as usual), we just sat for awhile. We enjoyed just holding hands and the stillness. Yes, stillness. There's a stillness that is creating by most prison couples in love at some point in a visit. It comes at a moment when you realize that the time to leave is within the hour.

That moment of stillness is created by couples who have a very high intimacy level between them. It gives them the power of shutting out the rest of the world. At that moment, you are the only two people in the room, in the world. It's not a sexual moment, in anyway. It's an intimate moment where your hearts start to beat together, you can hear each others' breaths, and that small physical gesture (something as simple as holding hands) is your greatest pleasure at that moment. You just look into each others' eyes, and let them do the talking. And, trust me, during those moments of stillness, your eyes can say it all.

Our moment of stillness lasted a very long time yesterday. It was finally interrupted by guard I like to call Richard Rimirez (He's my fave, in spite of the ugly nickname.). Our visit was over. Time to go. It took all I had not to cry like a baby. Maybe had I been watching the clock, like any other time, I wouldn't have been caught off guard. But, he interrupted our moment. And, that made me sad. So, I cried (but not like a baby. lol.).

Someone asked me the other day if this ever gets depressing. I told him no. But, thinking about yesterday, I had to revisit that question. I must say no again. I love this man. We have a connection that is unbreakable. Our bond has lasted for over 20 years. Do certain aspects of being in love with a prisoner make me sad or even frustrated sometimes? Of course. I'd be lying if I said no. But, is it depressing? Impossible.

This is the life I was given. I have to make the best of it. I actually like my life because I like who it made me out to be. Because, I like me. So, no, it's not depressing simply because I have been lucky enough to find a great best friend, who ended up being the love of my life. I have found my soulmate. He is my happiness.

Thanks for listening.
The Prisoner's Fiance

Don't forget to check out the update to my blog dedicated to being "The Prisoner's Daughter"!

Betrayal is Not an Option

It's been a long couple of months. I'm not sure what happened to cause so much confusion between My Boo and I, but I sure am glad we're past it.

One day, out the clear blue sky, he just started acting funny towards me. The letters stopped altogether. And, when we were on the phone, he seemed so distant, and annoyed. For about a week, I just chalked it up to "prison blues" and kept doing me. Eventually, he started asking me the same question everyday, "Do you have something you want to tell me"? I knew in my heart what that meant. But, I am a certified denial queen. So, I just kept telling him no and acting like nothing was wrong.

The next thing I knew, we were in the middle of the second argument of our relationship. It got much worse than it should have mostly because I was so insulted that this man was accusing me of betraying him, but giving me no details whatsoever. After he hung up in my face, that's when the texting war between us began (Yes, texts).After texting back and forth for hours, he finally gave me enough information to at least have an idea as to why we were arguing. I could not believe this man, the love of my life, was accusing me of being unfaithful to him, based on some "call-home, he-say-she-say" from someone who does nothing for him.

After taking time to calm down, I prayed on the situation. God told me, "Don't let go." So, that's what I decided. I was not going to abandon him like everyone else had over the years. I called, text, left voicemails... I did whatever it took to remind this truly good man that I, not his little birdy, am the one who has his back 100%. I had to reassure him that I, his soulmate, would never betray him... ever!

I never felt any anger towards him during all of this. All I felt was compassion. I realized then that this was a very strong man who had truly been wounded by his current situation. Not only is he in prison for a crime committed by a family member, but he's been doing his time alone, with no one to truly count on. He had put up walls over the years that I, personally, as his best friend, have never had to tear down. But, now, as his woman, the expectations are higher, which scared him at some point. So, his human nature told him that it would be easier to just walk away now than to take a chance of me betraying him later. In his words, "That would be devastating"!

It takes a real man to admit when he's scared. Once I was able to get that out of him, I was able to reassure him that this is the life for me. I chose this life, the life of The Prisoner's Fiance, because he is the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. I would never betray him. He is my world. As I tell him all the time, his last name will be on my tombstone. I cannot wait to be his wife. Betrayal is NOT an option!!!

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Who is The Prisoner's Fiance

Let me introduce myself. I am the daughter of a woman serving time in prison, who happens to be in love with my best friend, a man serving time in prison.

My boo and I have been best friends for two decades. For the past 12 years, he has been a CDCR prison inmate. We have been nothing but strictly platonic friends all of these years. On September 1st of last year, he called to wish me a happy birthday. I'm still not sure why, but that call was the beginning of it all. Within six weeks, we were both more in love than we had ever been in our lives.

As of today, we are engaged. Officially, he still has a couple of years left on his sentence. Unofficially, he is a candidate for the early releases mandated by the Federal Government due to overcrowding in the California prisons. No matter how much longer he has, I will stand by him faithfully until the day he comes home to me. And, it has not been a problem because he is not only the love of my life, I am his soulmate.

Whether or not to get married while he is still incarcerated is a question we change the answer to regularly. We are in no rush because we are truly enjoying our "courting" period. But, there will come a time when we will set an "if" date. In other words, we will get married when he gets out. But, "if" he's not out by our "if" date, we will probably go ahead and have our own private jailhouse wedding. (Sorry Mommy)

Either way, I am happier than I have ever been in my entire life. Because of that, I make sure to thank God for what my boo and I have every night before I go to sleep and every morning as soon as I wake up. I feel blessed to have what we have. I am proud to say that I am The Prisoner's Fiance.