Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Having a Prison Boyfriend

My fiancé is in prison…

Let’s take a look at a recent interview that I did with a lady named Courtney and her experience with having a fiancé in prison.

Hi, says, Courtney, let me take a minute to introduce myself, my name is Courtney, and I have a prison fiancé. When I met Nick I knew that he was on probation and he needed to stay on the straight path, or things could get very ugly for both of us. I wanted to make sure that the person with whom I fall in love with, that we would have a future together. And through all this confusion, I have to think about my three year old son and where he fits into all this. My fiancé painted a pretty picture of love for both my son and myself, telling us how much he loved us and that he would do anything for us. As time passed, he showed the new person that he had become and that he was not the same person as before. He showed us that he would do anything for us, there was nothing that he would not do for us.

Here is Courtney’s portrayal of how it all happened, she says, when we went to a gathering at his step mother’s house, a friend of Nicks ex-girlfriend recognized him and pushed him into a pool, ruining he brand new iPhone. Nick came out of the pool, upset and furious. When he completely was out of the pool, the two of them started fighting with each other, the police were called, and they both were arrested and taken to jail.

Courtney says, her fiancé is now behind bars for between 3-6 years, depending on what they give him at sentencing. Two-weeks have passed and it has been so hard, the hardest thing that I have had to deal with in my entire life time.

Courtney explains how she tries to cope with him being away, she says, I do things at home to be closer to him, like, sleep on his side of the bed, wear his clothes, eat and drink the foods that he likes. Everywhere I look and all that I do reminds me of him. Lots of friends and family tell me he is only gone for now, it’s not like he is dead. The pricing on the collect calls is outrageous, so we rarely get to talk with each other, we do not get to even see each other, and we do not get to hold each other. I think that the hardest part about all this is that my son looked at him as a father, and at night when I have to comfort him it is very hard, not only for myself, but even harder to understand for a child. The three of us a happy little family and when he called him dad it would make my heart melt even more. My son keeps asking the same questions to me the ones that I am trying to figure out for myself, “when will we get to see my daddy?”. The night time is the hardest when it is quiet, that is when I think of and miss him the most. I want to spend and intend to be with Nick for the rest of my life, leaving him is not the answer for me. I love him with all my heart, but there is a part of me that is scared, too. He is scared that me being alone will make me want to be with someone else, but how can you do that to someone you love and cannot stop thinking about. I feel so hurt, and it is tearing me up inside.

This interview touched my heart as it shows a time in one’s life of great need and sadness, and learning how to survive in this type of situation is most important.

If you have a boyfriend in prison, you need all the support you can get. Here are some great ebooks by Renee Patterson written for people with prison boyfriends.



3 comments:

Buford Embry said...

What a very compelling story! It would be tough for someone to be in a relationship where the other is in prison. Gaps could build between the parties involved but love has no boundaries, as they say. Prison walls won't be as much as a hindrance if these two people love each other for all the right reasons. Did you ask your interviewee if her fiance is allowed to bail out of prison earlier than what was sentenced? I hope this story has a happy ending.

Buford Embry

Steph CC said...

How hard it must be on Courtney and especially on her son too! I hope Nick gets out soon :(

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Liz Lockz said...

I can relate, my fiance is in jail. I am pregnant with our first baby and although he isn't sentenced yet it's seeming pretty clear he will not be home for the birth in December. It is so heart breaking. We are considering getting married while he is in there, before the baby arrives like we had planned. So hard for people!

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